We all have a certain set of expectations. It's human nature to find something new, form an opinion on that new thing, and begin formulating expectations on your interactions with it. Most things, are straight forward. Buy and iPOD, load some music, and your expectations of it is to play tunes into your ear while you engage in your favorite activity. Simple, right? True. But other things, have underlying issues, or factors we can't take into account at that time. It's also human nature to have your expectations be one thing, because that's what you want out of that new item in life; but it's not meant to be that. More often than not, we, as people tend to put a spin on things to cater to our needs; and maybe, just maybe that new thing wasn't designed to fit into your expectations.
That, is a lot of expectations. We run into this issue with possessions, items, cars, and of course people. Ahh...See what I just did there? I made this about humans again. Of course I did. Hence my human nature. What kills me, is how quick some of us are to formulate opinions and premature expectations for the new people,(or old) in our lives. But one thing I have found I have to practice more often- Self control. I can't control what my friend does, says, or acts upon. And why would I? because it doesn't fit the mold I formulated in my head of you. That there, is a mistake by me. The only person I can hold up to certain expectations is me. Only I can let myself down. Friends, family, acquaintances, love interests, they can let you down,if you allow it. Take what you can get, and give what you can.
I find now that so many times have I given; weather it be time, attention, money, resources, knowledge, it doesn't matter. My whole life is at the disposal of others, and I am probably too self-less. I'm told I need to be more selfish in life, but it's just not me. I know, that the gratification I get from helping someone is more valuable than keeping the effort, time, or monetary value for myself. Money comes and goes; you can't bottle time, and you can stifle your progress as a human by saving your effort for a time when "you need it most." Your efforts are never wasted, and sometimes we lose track of the help we have gotten in the past. Someone, at some point, was in the position to help you, and they did. What did you do to help keep the flow of life going, by passing on that energy, and effort? I didn't for a while. And life felt empty.
I'm ridiculed and discouraged by close friends and family for being to giving, almost to the point of being walked on; and by doing so I expect the same in return. For a while, that was the truth. If helping, paying attention to the little things, or spotting a friend some cash came so easily without second guessing, why, was it so hard for others to reciprocate? To this day, I have yet to find the answer to that question. I find myself doing the same old thing, but with lesser expectations for my counterparts, not in a failing way, but in a way that I know this particular trait is unique to me, and I can't hold it against another for not having it. I have found accepting people for who they are, building relationships based on the boundaries of their interactions makes me sleep better; and I will never waiver my support for others, as it is in my efforts to give I find happiness, not receiving.
-R
