The Game.

Everybody knows of the game. It's how we think things should be played, as if there are rules to meeting, and dating someone. Now, I know there are standard socially accepted stages of dating, hoping to progress onto something else; something greater. But how do you manage human lust, and the urge to chase what your body and mind tell you to? I just don't know. I have yet to figure out that end of the dating ritual.

Getting to know someone is a difficult thing. It's even harder to get to know them when you feel some sort of lust for them. That is what happens to humans, we find ourselves in lust with someone. Intoxication of the mind. The way they smell, the way you want to look them in the eyes for what seems eternity. You crack jokes to see their smile, because inside, when you get a glimpse of their happiness, it elevates yours. Their movements, body language, everything about them haunts your thoughts for moments to come. You want to know their thoughts- you wish you could climb up into their head and read their thoughts about you. It's intense; it's a slight pain, but it hurts so good. I guess for me, that is the closest I come to being a fiend for a substance.

When you meet someone, and all you think about is what to text them, how long to wait for the first phone call, who else they might be seeing; did I say the wrong thing, we had such a good time, blah, blah, blah. If you haven't been there, in my opinion (and opinions are like assholes, everyone has one) you aren't putting yourself in a position to be vulnerable. I find I would rather hurt a thousand times, and love, then remain cold, calculated, and disconnected to someone for the sake of being hurt. Going out on a limb may be suicide by today's dating standards, but what the hell are we doing anyways?

What happened to courtship? I'm serious. What happened to talking a girl out on a proper date? What happened to meeting their parents, asking permission to spend time with their daughter? I'm not saying I NEED this, some women don't have that ability, given certain scenarios. It would be nice to experience some sort of courtship outside the bar scene, though. I feel the social scene has become numb to the real reasons we seek the company of a significant other, and it has an obtuse way of setting up scenarios to meet.

I, just as much as any other man, am guilty of following like sheep to the watering hole. The general consensus is, "you're not going to meet a girl at a bar. Do you want to be with a girl who hangs out in bars?" and every man, (that I know) answer "no." Why not? I'll tell you why. Most women themselves are scared of men, more so than men are of women. But the bar scene also creates men that find women as objects, and things you can use. A male's inner instinct to mate is strong. Real strong, but something about respecting your mate has to either be taught, or carried within; I for one look at the possibility of being with a woman as fun, exciting, and intoxicating, but not at their expense. But it goes both ways- women that throw themselves at men when intoxicated expect you to have self control, and respect them. It's a double edge sword that has become society.

I don't have money. I don't have my shit together. Hell, right now, I live at home with my parents for god's sake. But being a good man isn't enough now a days. Men are judged on their ability to provide for a woman. Not all women are like this, and again, i'm going off of the demographic I surround myself with. I'm not saying she's a gold digger...you know the rest of the kanye song.