This has been an interesting week, and it's only Wednesday.  Funny thing is, I usually sometimes only blog once a month, but this week, I'm pushing the envelope! I guess it's been so long since I actually wrote, that my mind is full of words.  That's OK though; it's a good thing.  I want to touch on quality of life, and what that means. It's a simple phrase, but it means so much to everyone- and to every individual, how they measure their quality of life is different. Each person has their own standards, and their own path to get there. Some things seem perpetually out of their grasp, some seem easily attainable.

What creates your ideal life I think, is what you want out of it. Material possessions, friends, family, money, location, etc. it's all part of your ideal life. My ideal life had changed drastically this past year; more than i'd care to admit some times. Maybe it's a shift in priorities, maybe it's a new found thought process.  All I know is, I don't want to be where I hoped I'd be 3 years ago.  That Richie is gone.  Matter of fact, the Richard of 2011 is gone.  The 2012 Richie is here to stay, hopefully!  I guess I'm struggling with my situation right now- I feel like I've been on the runway awaiting take off, but now my flight had been delayed, due to bad weather.  But I've weathered worse storms than this, for sure; and I'm actually looking forward to this one.  I think the exit from this small challenge is going to really define my future, and set me up for the EXACT path in life I hope to be on, and I'm not going to lie, I'm kind of excited.

I realized that for me, quality of life is about family, friends, and personal satisfaction. Coincidentally, they actually go hand in hand.  I am not a huge fan of being alone all the time, and I've come to accept it. I do well alone, and trust me I enjoy my solitude, but I like the company of good people.  I enjoy being around my family at home; it's a sense of safety, and comfort I get from being there.  I need to make some adjustments as to where I'm at, but I'm working on that now.  I miss my mother, who is back in New Hampshire, and my aunts and uncles who are up north as well.  I struggle sometimes with the notion that I'm getting older and older, and haven't had a chance to be a father, but if it's meant to be, it will.  I guess I haven't found the right person, and maybe that's a void I'm struggling to fill as well.  But that, is a different story. It is a huge part of my "quality of life" plan, though.

I find I'm not all about my "money" lately.  I spent almost 10 years of my life dedicating day and night to my own business, only to watch the things I mentioned above suffer.  Friends, family, and love all took a back seat to my personal financial success. Sure I loved what I did, and I wish I could do it again, but I need to find a way to balance the two- I need my "me" time to be with friends, family, and to be alone.  but I also need to find a job that I enjoy everyday- and I have had tastes, but never fully grasped it yet.  I'll find it, sooner or later.  I feel like I have a lot to offer this world, and I haven't found a vessel to get it all out.  Funny how I find myself pondering theories and thoughts while sitting in the grass in the back yard, staring up at the stars. It's there that I find the things that make me truly happy. The thoughts of the times I spent, and will spend with my dad, the way my mom smiles at me, and treats me like a kid, even though i'm almost 30! The call of the outdoors screams to me; man I love hiking, climbing, kyaking, cycling, anything outside really.  And I always see a familiar face; I don't know what it means, but it's there. A certain someone, no matter what happens, always comes back around to my thoughts, and it is what it is.  Add those all together, and I think i'd find myself on the path, if not arrived, to my perfect life.
-R